Okay.
So I am going on VAY-CAY!!!!
Yup.
Me and the DogMeats are gonna hit the road.
So.
I though I'd share.
There should be some really boring blog moments involved here.
Let's face it, descriptions of Other Peoples road trips often have these maundering* blathers that try to be all prosey and Ernest-Hemingway-in-Spain but they really bore the snot out of us.... and it's kind of depressing because we are reading said road trips from the stupour of our office cubicle on a cheapass CRT screen that is all muzzy with 7 years of coffee-fumes build-up from where you park your daily mug.
Of course, there will be some absolutely RIVETING entries as well:
Drama; "I need you to have this fixed by Monday, as I will be traveling out of town on that Tuesday."
Humour; "Twelve-hundred dollars? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You're kidding, right? Why are YOU laughing?"
Terror; "What the frack is that noise it's making now? I told him he had to have FIXED it! CRAP!!! We're out in the middle of bloody NO-WHERE with NO bars of any kind!!!"
Suspense; "Do YOU think we'll make it to the next town on the map? Do YOU? I dunno....it's been making that noise for 11 miles and it's only getting louder. And I can feel it sort of grinding something through the steering wheel now..."
Joy; Oh thank The LORD, I have 2 bars now and I think I can see Winnehonkta in the distance there!"
Mystery; "Well I don't know why it's making that noise. I'll have one of the other mechanics take a look at it, I'm sure stumped."
Rage and Mayhem; "I'm going to beat that bastid senseless when we make it home, he claimed it was fixed and I laid out a cool thousand on it! Stankass swinewhore mutherfrocker.
Romance;
Never mind, it's always just a plain BAD idea to pick up a cheap liaison on the road. Especially if you don't have any antibiotics on hand.
Trouble With The Man; "No sir, I am NOT a Terrorist trying to sneak guns into the country, I LIVE there. I'm just pissed off at this mechanic dude in Ohio, and there need to be CONSEQUENCES for the hack job he did to this truck. Hear that Noise? Do you?!? DO YOU?!!?
Yah, that's right, that's what I'm talking about. Well, if you WON'T let me take the glock across the border, would you take a contract? You have a gun, it'd be perfect for the job.
Carnage; "You little fricking pig-dog, you figured I'd never make it back, didn't you? Your sorry luck; they wouldn't let me bring in the gun....but they WERE okay with this machete........ by the way- have you ever been bitten by a human?"
Okay, I may even describe some scenery in there, but only if it's GOOD scenery................
So stay tuned.
Seeya on the other side of the border.
*actually pronounced as ME-AN-DERING, good'ol english, uh huh and we demand that immigrants and children spell this stuff correctly....
