Dog Meat: The Video: Little Boy

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Little Boy

Arright, Junior.

IT must be about 2 inches long.

Why else would you go all race-car when somebody passes you on the freeway?

I mean.

You must have something seriously wrong with your self esteem regarding that space between your testicles if you feel inclined to take the speed that I am traveling personally.

Face it, it's what you do.

Here I am, driving a big OLD green beater of a pick-up truck with a 2-year old Wally's-lot acquired crease down the side, and a chipped up bug deflector....and when it looks like I'm coming anywhere close to passing your Flame-Thrower Red Z-4 Roadster, you hike up your loins and start this 90 mph careen up the interstate that makes the rest of the freeway look like a strip-mall lot on Black Friday.

You were just vacuously poodling along at 62 with your nose in your phone....and then, out of the corner of your eye you caught the gleam of my fender in your side view.

Oh yeah.

I had the cruise set at 67, so it was clearly aggressive and competitive......THREATENING even, on my part.

ALL ABOUT YOU, yup yup.

I got news for you Tiny.

It's NOT.

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Stupid things I see People actually doing in Public. And Ludicrously Stoopid Remarks They Make.

This section should be pretty stinkin' easy, yup yup.

Like;

- Idiot riding a bicycle with a poor, panting dog on a short leash. When the dog gets too close to the pedal, he reaches out and kicks the dog.

The really stupid part: He was doing it while crossing the intersection where I was stopped and I could see him. Even more stupid; He tried to argue with me when I told him to stop it. VERY high risk for me just taking the dog away from him and feeding him his bicycle via his rectal opening.

- "Ohio may pass a law that makes it illegal for teens to text message or use PDA's or laptops while driving."

HELLOOOOOOOO!!!

It should be illegal for ANYBODY to do those things while driving!

BUH!!!!!!!!!

Yah, I can see this section taking off in a big way.

I may allow my readers to make suggestions for this one.

*WHADDAYAMEAN, only 100 characters??!!???

It's not possible to fit the world's observable stupidity into 100 characters or less.

Not at all.*

Today's Lunch Menu

Okay. Mistake for lunch day. I am working all night tonight and I made the mistake of getting a Fr*styCh*no from the W*ndy'sStore and then tossing in a HUGELY caffienated espresso shot, in the interests of wakefulness. While it didn't actually seem to make me more terrifically alert, it certainly achieved, shall we say, an amazingly effective gut-purge. I'm like, "yup, there's that tomatoe I had for supper at 4..."
NOTE:I am going to save the following item as a permanent lunch fixture as a sort of public service Health Information Announcement : One full 12 oz. can of REAL Coke. The following Medical Info may SAVE YOUR LIFE SOMEDAY: Did you know that diet soda cans aren't as recyclable as real Coke? The thin film of phenylketonurics and aspartame that coats the inside of the diet soda cans becomes latex, under certain conditions, and renders them much more difficult to melt back down into real,toxin free, aluminum. That same latex is what coats the intestines of the consumer and helps block calories from entering the bloodstream. It's why diet sodas do work, but you also get colon cancer from it.

Today's,(or whenever), Random/Eccentric/Possibly Dangerous Thought/Plan/Idea

- What if we put a wind-driven magneto into a scoop in the front of a hybrid car? Once the car achieved adequate velocity, it should be ,virtually, a perpetual motion machine, it could store the electricity in a battery for future start-ups, as well as generating the energy required to keep it running. Entirely green, and there could literally be NO fuel costs involved.
- I wonder if we could offset the loss of heat reflective white mass,(that is occurring through the loss of the snow packs and ice caps globally),by painting all of the asphalt,(as in ALL), white, and banning the use of black pavement globally. I mean, have you ever noticed how much warmer cities are than the rural? Asphalt traps heat, there are studies that show a white sheet reflects heat away, so simply painting all these asphalt surfaces white might go a long way toward Saving The World. Take that Al Gore! why didn't you think of it first? If some MIT grad suggests it and gets a Nobel Prize, just remember that they probly read it here and COPIED the idea.
-I wonder if I can use the solar collector ability of an electric fence charger to power my house in some way.What if I had enough of them, daisy-chained into a battery or something?
-If I had an anti-tank missile firing weapon mounted on the hood of my jeep, I bet those aggressive swinewhores out there wouldn't cut me off on the freeway NEARLY so often. I could also, very likely, bring about a fairly complete and sudden end to these morons' driving while simultaneously drinking coffee and reading the newspaper and talking on the cell, (especially after I send an anonymous tip in to the news media about why that happened during this morning's rush hour, filmateleven).