LOOKOUT!!! I have a Toaster Oven!

....and I'm not afraid to use it!!!!

Which may be a drawback.

One can't help but notice that there aren't that many healthy food choices that go into a toaster oven.

And even the ones that are listed as potentially healthy for you are LOADED WITH CARBS.

I mean.

Salads just don't stand up to the harsh that is the temperament of a toaster oven. 

I don't think you can do much with a nice lean fillet mignon in there, either.

I believe that an omelet attempt would kill the thing outright......

What you DO find recommended for cooking in a toaster oven are items like:

MOST POPULAR, so 

item #1= The Bagel.

Bagels and toaster ovens were meant for each other.

Even if you can't slice that puppy into two even halves, the rack will allow you to toast it to having a crispy, butter melting, raisinblueberrycinnamonpoppyseedonionryewholewheat...whateverflavourmakesyouhappy, object that can hold a decent slather of creme cheeze,(if you are so inclined-I'm not), no matter HOW ragged you may have gotten the thing with your early morning, bleary-eyed, NoCoffeeYet coordination issues.

item #2= The "hot pocket".

I don't care how skewed the advertising is toward LeanCuisine* and HeathyChoice*.... there is NO WAY that these things are good for you.

The cheeze has to be artificial, the meat is obviously filled with nitrites, and I am sure they have found a way to combine high fructose corn syrup and SALT to produce that goo that is in there and seems to be responsible for the weird addictive properties that the things have.

Some people ALWAYS seem to be toasting up a "hot pocket". And if they can't find a toaster oven, they nuke them.

item #3= The Toaster Pastry.

I.E. Pop Tart.

I don't even need to say anything else about this item.

item #4= The Personal Pizza.

We will just go with convenience and include the Single Slice in this list item.

And the word "pizza" eliminates any further need to expound upon health merits of this item. THERE ARE NONE.

item #5= Fish Sticks.

Okay. Not a LOT of carbs.

But you absolutely MUST put catsup on them to be able to swallow them, so you will be making sure there is plenty of high fructose corn syrup in there which negates the low carb virtue that fish sticks may have had at some point.

And, c'mon. 

They're called FISH STICKS, for crying out loud.

I could continue to list items ALL DAY....but they are, essentially, just variations on the Big Five up there.

Cheeze sticks are fish sticks in drag, eggrolls, pizza rolls, xxxrolls are all just, well, roll versions of a hot pocket, french bread pizza and the other 187,000 variations are just PIZZA.... and anything that has sugar on it is a pop tart.

The only thing that stands relatively un-copied,( at least with any success), is The Bagel.

People have tried....and failed. Miserably.

So, "Why", you are asking, "does this humble writer, who has done nothing but decry the health hazard that is the Toaster Oven, have one?!?"

I like bagels.

*I think, if I run the words together, they won't recognize their names being used in this way if they are googlesearching, so maybe they won't sue me if there aren't any nitrites in there after all. But I bet there are, and plenty of them, too.