Stankin' hot, droughty, but with that muggy haze we get across the corn-fields up here when there's no breeze, tang of dust stuck to my sweat and in my nose, black lines of grit in my elbows and at the edges of my hair after a day on the field or in the paddock fixing fence that has sagged because the dirt and the wood itself is so dry that the nails don't hold as well and the posts begin to sag.
And Tuesday, a sweat-bee,(one of those microscopic shiny little wasps, not a yellow jacket), decided to fly into my nose and sting the inside of my nostril before I succeeded in snorting it back outta there.
MAN,DID THAT EVER HURT!!!!
I had tears running out my eyes,(creating streaks in the dust-cake that was my face), I could tell the inside of my nose was swelling up, there was this burny-itchy pain running up the inside of my sinus on that side.
I was honestly worried there, for a minute, that I could get sweat-bee brain or something.
Or start sounding like I needed an adenoidectomy all over again.
I sort of started running around in little circles, clutching my now-runny nose shut, going "Owng! OWNG OWNG OWNG owng OWNG!!!!!!" until I decided that the running might accelerate the journey of sweat-bee toxin to my brain....and it had SUCH a short distance to travel in the first place.
Mind you, I was NOT panic-ing.
There is NO defense against sweat-bees.
Not really.
You can try that Deep Woods ON!* bug repellant.
But if you are sweaty enough that you attract the sweat-bees, the bug spray won't stick for very long.
And I think they kinda like it.
They aren't flies or mosquitoes.....so they don't have the same sensibilities as the biting flies do.
And they're quite small and very fast....sneeky little boogers who sidle into your elbow space, just waiting for you to bend your arm so they can give you a taste of THE STING.
They like that space just to the back of your armpit too...or the edge of your shirt sleeve.....any place they can pretend to feel all threatened so they can zap you without an instant's warning.
I imagine they think it's funny....
If you even think you will keep them off of you....you'll never ever get anything done, as it requires both hands and an intense amount of concentrated vigilance.
And maybe even a mirror to make sure they aren't homing in on the back of your neck or edging under your shorts to have a handy excuse to zap your thigh.
You can wreck a tractor, trying to brush the sweat-bees off your arms without getting stung.......
Sufficient benadryl and just plain ignoring my discomfort has me adequately recovered from my killersweatbee nose. My adenoids did NOT grow back, my frontal cortex seems as sharp as it did before the bee attack,(I know, I know), and I don't think I have developed a sudden instinct for licking the sweat off the back of anybody's knees.
But I AM working on a system for duct-taping my sleeves to my neck and arms and wearing a mosquito screen mask out to the pasture.
(Which may, or may not, frighten the horses...we'll hafto see.)
No panic here.
Nuh UHH!!!
*Name changed again to prevent me being sued, because those people will SWEAR their product keeps away the sweat-bees and we know better.
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